I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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