The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
