do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
