just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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