hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
