is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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