But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
