I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
