I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
