Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize