he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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