it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize