just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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