I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize