This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
