Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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