PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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