it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
