My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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