Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize