went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
