So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize