tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
