please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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