I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
