I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
