im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize