i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
