tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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