I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
