So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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