all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you had me at cake vodka
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize