brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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