theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
