now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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