i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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