Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
