Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
