I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
