There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
