I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
