Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
