Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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