I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
