I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
