Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The uberlube is also flammable
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
