fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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