i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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