Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
