I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
