Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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