Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
