I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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