We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
