I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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