You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have already put on my inside pants.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
