I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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