I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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