The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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