just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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