Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
