We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
