dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize