I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
