I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
