we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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