hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
