um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
